Potential has been on my mind the last week. I’ve been watching The Mind of a Chef and reading Grape, Olive, Pig; Pasta, Pane, Vino; and Rice, Noodle, Fish, some of the projects Anthony Bourdain was doing in the years before his death. I just keep thinking of all the potential he had, the projects he could have produced for decades, even if he didn’t star in them. In The Mind of a Chef and the books, he didn’t have a lot of direct input; he was a producer and narrator, and he could have continued in that vein for years to come, if only he’d gotten a handle on his mental health. Instead he committed suicided with so much future potential unrealized.
I’ve been trying to keep that in mind for myself. Because while I haven’t had the career or financial success that he had, there is still potential. A lot of potential based on the contrast I’ve lived. I have so much in my vibrational escrow that would start to pop in rich and fabulous ways if I could just line up with it. I feel like I have gotten a handle on my mental health. I feel like the things that would trigger me to go back into depression or become suicidal again just aren’t there anymore, because I have a daily practice that re-centers and rebalances me. I KNOW that no matter what happens, what kind of huge obstacle or success or life-changing event, if I just sit and meditate and exercise every day, I can get back on track. It may look a little ugly for a while in how I handle things or process the changes in my life, but I feel like I can get through anything, even huge success.
It’s ironic that when I say I can get through anything, I’m thinking and bracing for something horrible to happen to me, some trauma or drama. I’m reminded of the Marianne Williamson quote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.” We’re all so scared of huge success. Is it going to change me? Yes, but it could be for the better. Am I going to lose my family and friends? Maybe, though you can align with new people who will love and support you as you are now. The potential is in all of us. There are opportunities and experiences that are ready to come into your life. We just need to allow the Universe to bring them in.
This is what I’ve been working on the last couple of years. Not DOING anything. I feel like I should be taking action and doing things and working toward my goals. If you are not in alignment, you will make very little progress. You’ll be like a hamster on a wheel. If you are in alignement with Source, your soul, your inner being, magic will happen. Everything will fall into place. You will randomly meet someone in the grocery store who will open a door for your project. It’s not about sending out a thousand emails, fishing to get a bite from anyone. You want the right someone. That results from being the right someone for yourself. Being centered and confident and acknowledging your awesomeness without having the huge payoff. You are successful, you are beautiful, you are amazing just as you are right now. You don’t need the job, the relationship, the money to prove it. You are an incredible human being just by being you. Knowing that, being that, will unlock all your potential.